Do you ever just catch random snippets of other people’s conversations?  It’s one of my favorite things.  Here’s an example of one I overheard in my Philosophy class this morning:

Kid #1: “I detect some cynicism in your attitude.”

Kid #2: “Yeah, well, I’m a Junior.”

I saw the movie Crash on TV last weekend. This is one of those movies where the word “important” gets thrown around a lot. It is indeed a good, although flawed, movie, and I was as happy as the next guy when it won the Oscar for Best Picture over Brokeback Mountain. As the opening credits roll, Don Cheadle’s character gives this voice-over:

“It’s the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.”

Now, this statement seems very melodramatic (which the movie recognizes, to its credit). Obviously, it’s a great opening for the movie because it’s so intense and it grabs the audience’s attention. That quote has also remained in my head ever since I first saw the movie a couple of years ago. If you just boil this statement down to its essential point, it is basically about physical contact.

When was the last time you really, truly touched someone? I’m not talking about brushing by someone or bumping into someone. I’m talking about a sincere hug, kiss, handshake, pat on the back, or hand on the shoulder. Seriously? I think the last time for me was when I hugged people I hadn’t seen in a while after I got back from Chile. Maybe a couple handshakes since then with new acquaintances. But to be honest, physical contact is few and far between.

I think a big part of the reason for this is my personality. I am definitely not a touchy-feely type. I will rarely initiate physical contact. But how much of this is the American culture? In Paraguay and Chile, I was always greeted with a kiss or a hug. No exceptions. But in America we have this personal space bubble that may only be encroached upon with permission, and only by close friends and family.

I am not sure if this is the cause of crashes, metaphorical or literal, as the movie Crash suggests. But I do tend to think we humans were meant for more physical contact that what we, or at least Americans, are currently giving and receiving.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of encouragement, and the fact that there is so little of it in this world. I dish out encouragement on occasion when it is expected of me. Who doesn’t? Teachers might include nice comments on well-crafted essays. Teammates cheer for each other during sports. This is to be expected. But sometimes true encouragement is a sincere comment that comes totally out of the blue from someone you know and love. How often do you actually sit someone down, look them in the eye, and say clearly and intentionally: “You are so great. I thank God that you are in my life.” I am appalled by my lack of ability to find such instances in my life where I have taken the initiative to encourage someone. This is something about me I would like to change. It begins now. The next time I think of something I appreciate about a friend, I am going to tell them about it. The next I see a speaker or artist that really impacted me, I am going to try and let them know. Nothing too crazy. Just an intentional shift in the focus of my relationships.