There are a few images that will be burned into my brain forever.

A woman came into the place I work yesterday night.  We had about a half hour until we closed so the other two workers and I were starting to clean up and prepare to shut the place down.  There was one other customer there waiting for his food.

Then this lady walked in.

The first thing I noticed about her were her eyes.  She had enormous bags underneath her eyes, and her irises were the craziest things I had ever seen.  They were like, sparkly, or something.  I don’t know if she was wearing contacts or this was some weird effect of drugs, but this lady’s eyes were scary.  And dead.  Her eyes were dead.

This woman walked up to the cash register where I was standing, and asked me if any of us employees smoked.  I had to ask her to repeat herself because I was so taken aback by her eyes.  She repeated her question.  I said “Um, no.  Sorry.”  She walked out.

Everyone in the store stood frozen for a split second, then we all went back to what we were doing.  This lady was clearly looking for something more than a cigarette.  This was a woman whose life had been destroyed by drugs.

And I can’t get the image of her eyes out of my head.

I’ve never done drugs.  I’ve never had the desire to.  And it’s not because of the D.A.R.E. program I went through in elementary school, or the slide shows in high school health classes.  I’d say it’s probably a combination of my faith and the types of people I hang out with.  But it’s also because I have seen firsthand the ravaging effects of drug addiction.  I’ve talked to addicts and I’ve heard their stories.  The desperation, the abandonment, the poverty, and the purposelessness of a life that only has one goal: the next hit.  It starts and it ends with a needle.

Don’t do drugs.

As part of its annual “Celebration of Hope,” which is an attempt to raise money and awareness for the plight of the global poor, my church has challenged the congregation to eat as a poor person would for five days straight.  This basically means that the meal options are oatmeal or cream of wheat, rice and beans, or rice with bits of meat and vegetables.  For five days.  Straight.  I am now on day three of this challenge.

It is not so easy.

Day one was not so bad.  I was actually fine until about 8:00pm, when I started to get really hungry.  My mind immediately wandered to the kitchen, where I could usually just grab something if I was feeling peckish.  But I have really set my mind to this challenge, and I know that the poor don’t have a fully-stocked kitchen where they could just go “grab something.”  So I held my ground, but the hunger was very distracting and doing my homework was a nightmare.

Day two was worse.  The rice and beans I had for lunch were fine on day one, but on day two they were difficult to get down.  I’ve always hated beans.  Also, between my “lunch” of rice and beans and my “dinner” of rice with bits of chicken and vegetables was a period of about nine hours.  I had to go to work from 5-9, so I didn’t eat dinner until I got home around 9:30pm.  These were a long nine hours.  At work I started to feel a little weak and dizzy.  Plus, I work at a salad/sandwich place, so there was plenty of good food to tempt me.  It was a tough day.

I think today, day three, will be fine.  I really don’t have anything to do, so I won’t need a lot of energy.  Days four and five will probably be the hardest for me.  To be honest, I can’t wait for Saturday.  The crappy part is, if this was a real situation, it wouldn’t be over after five days.

Last night I went to work, and since it was a later shift at a slower time it was just me and the owner working in the store for a while.  A couple came in, and it was obviously their first time eating at this place.  They ordered their food and sat down to eat.  After they were done, the woman came up to the counter where the owner was prepping some food.  She explained to him that although the food tasted fantastic, the plastic forks and knives were too flimsy and not substantial enough to cut their food with.

It seems really trivial, but this lady’s comment really struck me.  She started off with a positive affirmation about the taste and quality of the food, but also gave a suggestion as to how we could make the dining experience better for the customers.

I’ve had several jobs dealing with customer service since I was in high school, and let me tell you how scarce these types of constructive comments are.  The fact that I am even writing about this should tell you rare it is.

When most people have a negative experience with a food or retail place, they keep it to themselves.  Then they go home and write a scathing review on Metromix, or tell all their friends not to go to that place.  Others complain loudly and often to the managers about trivial or imagined glitches in service.  Some direct their anger at lower-level workers who had nothing to do with the problem in the first place and have no idea how to fix it or even what they’re talking about.  The result of all this is that many complaints get ignored and negative experiences are not addressed in the form of any sort of change.

Here is the bottom line: if you know how to direct your criticism into a constructive comment, your complaint will get much, much farther.

Have you ever heard the saying “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”?

I’m not usually a big fan of such cliches, but recently I have found this one to be particularly fitting to my life.  This is a hard one to explain, so bear with me if I start getting vague and abstract.

If you asked me at any given moment in my past if I would lay out the next few years of my life, I would probably have a detailed plan in mind.  However, if you asked me again a few years down the road if my plans actually came to fruition, the answer would almost always be an unequivocal “no.”

I always wanted to go to a school like Stanford or Northwestern, but somehow I found myself at Wheaton College (I know, the “Evangelical Harvard”).  For a while I thought I wanted to be a Spanish teacher, but now I feel myself being drawn toward law.  I never thought I would study in Chile and Paraguay.  I never saw myself working as a camp counselor or as a receptionist at a mental health clinic.  I never really planned any of these things, but they just happened and for the most part they have been the most formative experiences of my 20 years of life.

Ever since I decided to major in Political Science and do the concentration in Pre-law, I have been thinking about the internship requirement I must complete before I graduate.  My plan was to do a legal internship with the government, like with the FBI or a State’s Attorney’s office.  But none of those options really ended up working out.  Then this week an internship with a very prestigious law firm just sort of fell into my lap, and it seems to be a better opportunity than anything I could have planned.

Here’s the point of all this: no matter how hard I try to control and micro-manage my life, I find myself being irresistibly pulled in an unexpected yet exhilerating direction.  There is this feeling that there is something way bigger than me at work.  This is strangely comforting, because I am a mere human being and my life would probably be a total mess if I was the one actually calling the shots.

Maybe I don’t know yet the direction or purpose God has in mind for me, but I do know this: it will be awesome.  And that makes life one big, exciting adventure.

OK, I am going to say this really slow, so everyone can understand.

TIP

YOUR

DELIVERY

DRIVER.

Any questions? Easy enough, right? And yes, this is directed at a specific person. If you want something delivered because you don’t want to drive with the snow/cold/other crazy drivers, then you should probably COMPENSATE the person who actually drives in the snow/cold/other crazy drivers to bring your food to your doorstep! I’m not doing this out of the goodness of my heart, lady!

If you are ever unsatisfied with the service you received, it is legitimate to give a smaller, or in extreme cases, no tip. But you should then notify a manager and explain why you were unhappy.

There is no excuse for you to answer the door while talking on the phone and not holding back your large, hyper dog, then write $0 on the tip line of the receipt, hand it back, smile and close the door.

Dear God,

Please cut Chicago a break with the weather.  Please send us sunshine and flowers and baby chicks.  And not just for one day, but for a long, long time.  We desperately need it.  I desperately need it.

Love,

Lorin

“…but it looks good on a resume!”

I hate hearing that.  Unfortunately, I heard a lot of it in high school (replace “resume” with “college application”) and I hear a lot of it at Wheaton, too.

I will admit I have found myself thinking those words, and when that happened it was time to reconsider my reasons for doing that thing.

When resume-building becomes your only reason for doing something, bail out.  Fast.  It will drain you.

I think that Barack Obama will win the Democratic nomination. As many have pointed out recently, mathematically it is impossible for him to lose unless the super delegates overturn the pledged delegates, and I think the Democrats are aware of the hullabaloo that would be raised if that were to happen. Considering this, it looks like we will have a McCain vs. Obama race for the presidency in 2008. Up until the past week or so, I might have given the edge to Obama. But so much can change in just just a few days much less 7 months, and indeed we have heard the brakes screeching on Obama’s momentum. So assuming Obama is the Democratic nominee, what can he do to be victorious come November? Here are my thoughts:

1. Keep a lid on Reverand Wright and his church. Do not let him give any interviews or release any statements, ever. He will inevitably be put in a position to defend himself and his words, and anything he says that follows will not be good for the Obama campaign.

2. Consider holding a meeting with the church elders or perhaps speaking to the congregation. This might be tricky because it would probably involve some confrontation with respect to the church’s ideology. But Obama’s relationship with the church needs to be reconciled, and I think this is probably the only way to do it. Only after this could he continue to justify his close ties to the church and to Reverend Wright.

3. Completely sever the Obama campaign from supporters of Reverand Wright who will espouse his views. These people who appear on news talk shows and post on Internet message boards will only damage the Obama image. Release some statement that will discredit these supporters, and make it clear that these views have no part of the Obama campaign.

4. Stop talking about race, at least for now. Obama has lost his credibility on this subject for the moment. He may have given a great speech about race, but it doesn’t matter. Anything he says right now about race will be highly scrutinized, and that is never good. I am thinking specifically of a statement he said that included the words “typical white person.” Those words are not OK. White people do not want to be stereotyped any more than black people do. Just stay away from that for a while.

5. Since the possibility of a campaign about racial reconciliation seems to have gone out the window, at least for a little while, start shifting the focus of the campaign toward political change. Find some other hook. The Obama image can still be a huge advantage, especially when pitted against McCain. It just cannot depend on race anymore.

6. Beware of any other dirt that might come up in this campaign, and get out ahead of it. After the Reverand Wright crisis and the SNL skit that parodied the media infatuation with Obama, everyone is going to start scrutinizing him a lot more closely. There are going to be no more free rides built upon Obama’s media appeal.

I don’t know how things will turn out in the general election. I think it’s too early for anyone to predict anything. I don’t think the Reverend Wright scandal sounds the death knell for Obama’s campaign. But it could very well be the first of a series of fatal blows. I hope Obama considers that he needs to take action to stop the bleeding. These suggestions could be a start.

A note: these thoughts come from an undecided voter with conservative leanings.

I found kind of a cool website: www.createpaintings.com. You answer a few personality questions and it creates a painting for you. Here’s what mine looks like:

I made my first big purchase when I was 5 years old. I had had my eye on this My Little Pony in the toy aisle at the Jewel for a while. The pony was purple, and when you squeezed it it made galloping and whinnying noises. It cost $8. At that time, that was 8 weeks worth of allowance for me. I mean, we’re talking big money here. When I had finally saved up enough money, I tagged along with my mom while she was grocery shopping, took the My Little Pony off the shelf, brought it up to the counter, and shelled out the eight Washingtons. When I got home, I tore open the packaging and wouldn’t put the thing down the entire night. My dad off-handedly made a remark about not playing with it too much or I would wear out the battery inside that made the noises. He meant it jokingly, but the comment was like a kick in the gut for me. I was suddenly aware of the fleeting nature of material goods. I couldn’t sleep that night, and was convinced I had made a horrible mistake in purchasing the pony. My parents talked me out of trying to return it to the store, but from then on I carefully rationed how many times I would squeeze to pony to hear the noises.

Melodramatic? Ok, slightly. But I remember this incident vividly, and I think it says a lot about my current fiscal nature. You see, I sort of have a really difficult time spending money. When I was a kid my income was always based on mowing the lawn and washing the dishes. I’ve worked various part-time jobs since I was 17. Money never came free to me, which is surprising to some given my parents’ economic status. But then again it never came free to them, either. When you have to work for money, it’s a lot harder to spend.

Why am I talking about this? Because I just got a job, that’s why. And I’m thinking about going shopping tomorrow and spending money on things that I haven’t allowed myself to spend money on in a while. And it will be difficult, and my brain might say “No! You don’t need that!” but I might just buy it anyway. During my five months in Chile, I spent almost all of my savings on travel expenses. Before I left for Chile I told myself that it would be OK to spend all of my money on a life-changing experience. And I don’t regret it. I got back to America scraping the bottom of the barrel that is my checking account, and planning on getting a job ASAP. But my wonderful grandparents gave me a very generous Christmas gift of cash that allowed me to put off the job search for a couple of months and get my feet back on the ground while I was readjusting to life back in Wheaton. I have tried to not really spend this money because I knew that the source was not being replenished while I was unemployed.

I am now employed. In a few weeks, the balance of my checking account will begin to increase with every paycheck rather than decrease every time I pay off my credit card (which I have for the sole purpose of building credit even though I don’t actually use the credit). It’s a good feeling. So, despite a previous entry involving a mall rant, I think I might go to the mall tomorrow. It’s my Spring Break, so I will go to the mall when all of the middle schoolers are still in school. I will go to the mall, sans kiddies, and I will spend money.

I’m always wary of random statistics, but here are some to ponder:

• 70% of divorces are caused by financial difficulties.

• 1,500,000 Americans file for bankruptcy every year.

• 71% of credit card holders only pay the minimum payment.

• Americans save on average -0.5% of their income.

• The average American household carries $10,000-$12,000 in debt and has 9 credit cards.

The bottom line is: a lot of people have financial problems. And financial problems cause a lot of stress. Now, maybe I’m a little too stingy. But I know people who don’t think twice about dropping $200 on a pair of boots that they just can’t afford, and they carry around a huge financial burden that I don’t think I will ever have.